I've worked in tech support since 1993.

Fortunately, there are a few places where I can blow off steam. Two big ones are the USENET newsgroups alt.sysadmin.recovery and its offshoot alt.tech-support.recovery. Over the years I've posted a number of rants, war stories, and random tech support related stuff to them. I collect the best of them here, along with a few things I didn't post there but should have.

If you've worked with me, it's possible one or more of these messages is about you. If you suspect this to be the case, try not to worry about it too much.

The Customer Support Years

• 23 May 2001--I differ with a customer on the definition of "error message".
• 12 Dec 2000--A rant in sonnet form.
• 27 Jun 2000--A description of an initiative that failed.
• 27 Jun 2000--I list some pluses to doing phone and internal support.
• 14 Jun 2000--I comment on the efficacity of several spam reduction strategies.
• 6 Jun 2000--A user explains his troubleshooting procedure.
• 24 May 2000--Some inconclusive correspondence.
• 22 May 2000--I have negative experiences with users with beta software.
• 3 May 2000--Misuses of email I have encountered.
• 7 Feb 2000--I delineate the gradations between "Very Rude" and "Supremely Polite".
• 13 Nov 1999--I list some tech support catchphrases.

The Internet Startup Years

These are stories I wrote while working for an internal help desk for an Internet startup in Manhattan. Mostly these are stories wrote about my experiences there, but there may also be some stories about the university years that I posted after I left my university job.

• 14 May 1999--My freedom to pee when I want to is impeded
• 6 Apr 1999--I am MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS!
• 28 Mar 1999--I find creative ways to blow off stress. My coworkers become concerned.
• 10 Mar 1999--I accidentally give a coworker the runaround.
• 5 Mar 1999--I struggle to install RAM in a PowerMac 9500.
• 20 Feb 1999--I discover a simple reason why mail might not be delivered.
• 2 Feb 1999--I pontificate on the use of metrics.
• 16 Jan 1999--I write a mediocre poem about users.
• 24 Dec 1998--We encounter a really classy guy.
• 14 Dec 1998--A parody of the movie "Roadhouse" in which the Patrick Swayze character works at tech support.
• 25 Nov 1998--I have a disturbing tech-support related dream.
• 11 Nov 1998--An encounter with a web designer who did not understand the finer points of RFC 822.
• 16 Oct 1998--What would happen if someone scheduled a meeting and nobody showed up?
• 16 Oct 1998--This is not the CD ROM drive story you're thinking of.
• 3 Apr 1998--I fail in my attempt to use Microsoft's website.
• 22 Jan 1998--THE STAPLER IS BEHIND YOU.
• 30 Jul 1997--I encounter a novel way of dealing with RTF files.
• 8 May 1997--I encounter several annoying voicemail systems.

• no date available--We encounter a power user.

The University Years

These are stories I wrote while working for a University help desk as a student. They generally were posted to a local newsgroup and therefore may contain terms or references that are unclear to someone who didn't also work there.

• 23 Feb 1997--I lash out at someone who posts a tech support question to alt.tech-support.recovery.
• 23 Jan 1997--I return to tech support after taking a break. It's worse than I remember.
• 23 Jan 1997--some anagrams for alt.tech-support.recovery I came up with.
• 8 Dec 1996 14:30:41--I identify seven types of tech support providers.
• 8 Jun 1996--Math taught tech-support style.
• 11 Apr 1996 13:54:08--I speak with an insistent underling.
• 25 Mar 1996 14:06:11--I encounter unfamiliar terminology.
• 6 Feb 1996 13:44:49--I describe the process of determining whether something will fit on a disk.
• 14 Oct 1995 21:09:29--I observe bizarre user behavior in the wild.
• 13 Sep 1995 12:41:53--I encounter the most important person in the world!
• 15 Jun 1995 12:39:51--I encounter a nonspecific problem description.
• 31 May 1995 13:53:35--I enter into an endless struggle to format a disk.
• 3 Apr 1995 01:49:19--A coworker encounters a user unfamiliar with induction.
• 14 Dec 1994 12:44:04--My boss explains why a certain application is unsupported.
• 2 Dec 1994 15:29:22--I respond to a caller with a simple question.
• 1 Dec 1994 12:10:17--I am unintentionally rude.
• 10 Nov 1994 15:05:21--An Excel question takes much longer than it should.
• 8 Nov 1994 16:44:05--A teaching assistant asks me to bend the security policy.
• 4 Nov 1994 15:37:17--I make snide remarks about a professor of anthropology.
• 23 Oct 1994 18:25:48--I assist a gentleman with his password problems.
• 29 Sep 1994 10:20:15--I fantasize about what I'd like to say the users.
• 23 Sep 1994 22:52:42--I deal with a user who wants to install software on a system with inadequate hardware.
• 20 Sep 1994 10:36:37--Tech support as truism.
• 4 Mar 1993 20:21:40--I discover the dangers of mixing and matching jobs.